I know it has been quite a while since I have posted and I'm not exactly sure why. Perhaps I was feeling "un-inspired" or "insecure" or simply "not-called" but nevertheless I am back! Today's topic is one I have been wanting to talk about for a while. By the title I'm sure you know what's coming. I want to be clear: this is not going to be a post just bashing our generation for being vapid and self absorbed, but more so taking a look at where our culture as a whole is currently at regarding priorities and its understanding of the purpose of life. Saddle up, this is going to be a bit long. We have seen the viral pictures, news stories, and political cartoons all making jabs at our lives and values now that smart phones have become readily accessible and socially acceptable to be used at any time we find convenient or necessary. Here are some that you may have seen floating around online: Smart phones are now being used in situations and places that they weren't used in in the past. This is most likely the effect of them being much more abundant now. I saw an article comparing this year's election to ones in the past by using the picture above of everyone taking selfies with Hillary in the background to a picture from previous elections where people were getting their picture taken with the nominee. It's not necessarily a fair argument since in the past elections, as recently as the one in 2008, most people didn't even have their hands on the iPhone yet since it had just came out the year before. Also, popular social media apps like Instagram and Snapchat, wouldn't even become available until 2010 and 2011, respectively. But obviousness aside, I think we can all come to the conclusion that we are fully immersed and reliant upon our smart phones. They are now and undeniable and staple part of our ever day lives. But, with that, they also affect our everyday lives. Smart phones and social media alike have drastically affected and shaped our relationships, jobs, schooling, and priorities in the last ten or so years. I can still remember taking "selfies" as early as freshman or sophomore year in high school. Although it was not yet called a "selfie" and involved very interesting angles and photo editing with high contrast and sepia tones, it still entailed me spending copious amounts of time trying to make myself look the absolute best I could for the sake of showing others on my Myspace page. Social media is a place where you get to show a snippet of your life, your likes and dislikes, your friendships and relationships, and you are able to present a picture perfect version of yourself. People (typically) don't go on their social media to share a video of them crying over an argument with their spouse, a picture of themselves in an unflattering dress at a bad angle, or a rant about how they feel like a failure of a parent because they have no control over their kids. No, typically you don't want to let people know your struggles, especially if it doesn't breed sympathy but only judgment. For instance, one might post about how they are feeling insecure with the way they look but only have the best pictures of themselves online so that people will respond back saying how beautiful they are. This would be a post that breeds sympathy, rather than someone posting a picture of themselves eating a whole carton of Ben and Jerry's, from a downward angle and their face is broken out. That kind of picture would breed judgment and (typically) isn't one that people post. So we have people constantly posting their picture perfect lives with their awesome relationships, happy children, great head-shots, done-up hair and makeup and their most put-together outfits. This is what we get to look at everyday. A snippet of a life that isn't actually real but is presented as such. We already know these things. We know that people post the "best" things of their life, that people live through their phones rather than enjoying the moment and that people are able to compare themselves to and compete with others at all times of day. But how did it get here? I believe it's because our culture and society has placed an ever-increasing, ever-heightening, unreachable value of ourselves. It's all about us. We get to show people everything we are doing, thinking, saying, wearing, and eating and we expect people to care. Even by writing this blog post, I expect people to care about my recent observations. Now this is not say, that we can't express ourselves, share what brings us joy, and update people with our lives, no, the problem is that there are no boundaries. There is no moderation. There comes a time when we feel obligated to post something or our motives for posting something are of a fleshly nature. It's a sneaky line and it will creep up on you, begging to be crossed innocently. Along with this obsession with sharing comes an obsession of ourselves. With the media, Hollywood, politics and the never-ending advocacy for human rights, the Truth has been replaced with our own fleshly understanding of "truth". Nowadays, we are told to look a certain way and yet feel beautiful the way we are. We are told to expect respect and trust from others but to be slow to return it. We are told to be strong and persevering but not take flack from anyone. We are told that others are supposed to make us happy and if they aren't, then remove them from our lives. We are told that we deserve the best or better but aren't supposed to go above and beyond for someone else. We are told to be accepting of everyone except the ones we don't believe are right. We are told to not let anyone walk all over you but do whatever you have to do to make it. We are told that everyone should have freedom of speech unless it contradicts with the far left movement. We are told to abandon whatever doesn't make us happy and to pursue whatever it is that will. We are told all is fair in love and war and yet expect honesty and fairness when it applies to us. We have so many contradictions and misconceptions about how humans should interact that it becomes a lot more clear why we are where we are as a human race. Browsing through Pinterest, I came across some quotes that perfectly explain the "self sickness" that we have. At first glance, the quotes look empowering, inspiring, and even true. But once broken down, they look lonely, depressing and unfulfilling Gosh, how depressing! Looking at these quotes, it's no wonder we are where we are. Marriages don't last, people's work ethic is terrible, children don't obey their parents, people don't respect others' feelings or opinions, and there is no focus on others, only yourself. How unsatisfied, unhappy and confused our culture is!
A couple years ago, I would have written or posted or pinned quotes just like these! That's what's truly upsetting about them, is that I've been there. I have had this self- focused, self-consumed mindset before. And you know what? I was so unhappy, I was such a brat, I didn't know how to love, I didn't know what my purpose was, I was tired and I didn't want to live. I was drowning in my self pity. In fact, I was so consumed by self pity and self awareness that I started my own separate Instagram account dedicated to quotes similar to the ones above except even darker. My quotes sang the sorrowful song of my broken heart with cries of "Woe is me!", "What about what I deserve?", "What about me?", and "Why isn't life fair?". They were much more poetic than that but equally pathetic. I remember one night after I had posted a depressing quote, a complete stranger commented on one of my photos saying, "Wow, self pity is a messed up thing." I remember thinking, how dare he? He doesn't know me, or know what I am going through! How inconsiderate. But I also remember feeling a bit embarrassed. I think a part of me knew he was right, that I wasn't trying to rise from my ashes, I was choosing to sit in the muck and mire of my self absorbed life and feast on my sorrows and woes. I was stuck there. Do you know why it's dissatisfying and depressing to live like this, self-obsessed and self-focused? Because we weren't created to live like this! We were made to worship, but not ourselves! We were made to love, but not ourselves! We were made to be joyful, but not in ourselves! We were made to focus, but not on ourselves! We were made to share, but not (just) about ourselves! We were made to be perfect, but not for ourselves! How confused we have become. How twisted our life purposes and priorities have gotten. Where do we go from here? Where can we find freedom? Everything in our society seems to be vying for the pursuit of happiness and peace but it's being done in all the wrong ways, in the most fleeting manners. The first step is to go to the Word of God. There you will find what you are created for, how you can get joy, what your "rights" actually are, and how to get out of this pit of muck and mire. A perfect place to start is by taking a look at the perfect example of selflessness and love, Jesus Christ. Philippians 2:5-8 says: "In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death--even death on a cross!" Here are a few phrases that stand out in this passage: -Did not consider equality (even though He was equal). -Made Himself nothing, -Taking the very nature of a servant. -Humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death. What a contrast to the quotes above, huh? What a contrast to our perceived standards in society. Mark 10: 45 says: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." I don't see self-obsessed or self-focused, I see selfless. In John 4:34, Jesus says, "My food...Is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work." He was completely surrendered and focused on the will of another (God, His equal), not His own. There are so many examples of Jesus being a selfless servant: taking His time to heal others while living as a vagabond, washing His disciple's feet, taking the time to look at people and help them, and, His most prime and obvious example, dying on the cross. I think we need to take a moment to consider what would have happened if Jesus had been like us, with our mindset. If Jesus had asked, "But what about me? What about what I deserve?" or "What about my rights? What about what's fair?" He would have never made it to the cross. Let that sink in. If He had questioned His rights, thought about who He was and what He deserved, He would have never died for us and there would never be a Hope for us. But He didn't. He didn't ask those questions, He didn't put Himself first. He didn't consider His own will. And because of that we can now be saved. 2 Corinthians 8:9 "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that although He was rich, for your sake He became poor, in order that you, by His poverty, may become rich." The ultimate servant. The ultimate selfless act. The ultimate act of love. The ultimate example for how we should live our lives. But now, we should look to Him as an example for how to live our lives, not take advantage of the gift He gave, we should be transformed by it. Galatians 2:20, Paul says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God,who loved me and gave himself for me." We should be taking on the same approach as Paul if we are followers of Christ. We should be dying to ourselves and having Christ live for us. If Christ lives for us, we should be living selfless lives, loving others not just as ourselves but even more than ourselves. Philippians 2:3 says that we should "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." and in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 we see that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." So if godly love is not self-seeking, it means it has to be seeking someone or something else. This should be God and others! Also, how great of an example are these verses for our marriage? Remember the quote above by Nina Simone? "You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served"? When you are married, you are not responsible for nor in control of how your spouse loves you. You are only in control of how you love your spouse. These verses show us how you should love your spouse! Also, may I point out that nowhere in these verses does it say, "Love is always happy and always feels in love"? Because love isn't always a feeling, it is an action. Feelings are fleeting. I wish our society would realize that marriage is about much more than being happy and in love, it's about being selfless and becoming more Christ-like. It's about becoming more of a servant and learning how to live with another person. It's about being held accountable for your actions. It's about being a living example of Christ and His bride, the church. If we could all grasp these concepts at all chapters of our marriage, more marriages would stick it out. I would like to start to wrap up with some verses that describe how the world will look during end times. While I personally feel like our world is going to get a lot darker before Jesus returns, I believe we have definitely begun end times. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people." It's kind of jaw-dropping to see how close our society is to that. Please notice the last sentence (emphasis mine): Have nothing to do with such people. This doesn't mean don't love them or be hateful towards them or treat them like they have leprosy. It means don't be with and among them so much that you become like them and no longer are able to be a light. Don't take on their qualities as your own and don't enable them to do so. Be cautious of the people you surround yourself with (yes, this means follow on Facebook and Instagram), it's easy to get sucked into this world. I know I have. Remember that it is no longer us who should be living, but Christ in us. Our lives should not be filled with self-obsession, self-pity, and self-focus. Our self-life should be dying more and more each day and we should be putting Christ and others above ourselves, not the other way around. John 3:30- "He must become greater, I must become less." Let's keep our focus on things above, rather than things below. The things below are temporary, but our relationship with God is eternal. I know that there are things that I am tempted to put above God, including my self-life. I am reminded that I must stay sober minded and vigilant. We must be watchful warriors. God bless!
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About Me:Hello! I'm Roxy. Enjoy reading my thoughts as I strive to understand God's character and truth and admonish it faithfully to His church. Please email at [email protected] with inquiries. Archives
September 2018
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