Growing up I always described myself as an extrovert. I was outgoing and loved being around people. I hated the idea of something happening without me and missing out. While I was a bit timid at first and it took me a while to really let my walls down and be entirely myself, I still considered myself to be an extrovert. I wanted tons of friends, I wanted to be popular and to have everyone, from every group, like me. Throughout middle school, high school and the beginning of college, it seemed to be about quantity of friends over necessarily quality. Don't get me wrong, my close friends were quality, but I still didn't mind having a ton of acquaintances and more surface-y friendships. I'm not sure what exactly caused me to change. Maybe it was growing up, maybe it was lack of time, maybe it was the larger class sizes in college, or maybe it was due to a chapter of depression and anxiety that I went through. Nevertheless, I began to pull back. I would have small group of friends but it just became a whole lot easier for me to be alone. I could do what I wanted and didn't have to report to anyone. I had no accountability and I just "was who I was". It became a security blanket with which I wrapped myself in. I didn't have to get my patience tested, I didn't have to use any energy, I didn't have to answer tough questions, I didn't have to practice tactfulness and discretion, and I didn't have to say sorry for anything except for all of the plans I would cancel. Sure enough, the more you say "no" to people, the less often you'll have to. People will quickly get the picture. It's been interesting to me to see "introversion" almost become a trend recently. I'll blame a lot of it on Social Media but it's almost an "inside joke" to be introverted now. In fact, it almost seems like a contest to be the most introverted. Here are some of the "memes" you can find out there that seem to make light of "introversion": It's almost "cute" to be introverted now. It's almost endearing when someone gets home from work or school, pours a bowl (or three) of Reese's Puffs cereal, plops down onto the couch, gets on the computer to blog, only lets their dog sit next to them and prays that no one will text them to do something. It has become relatable. I would like to make myself clear. I am not making fun of introverts per say, I'm mostly making fun of myself. I am making fun of the fact that I love to be alone so much and that I love not having to deal with people, and that I always need to recharge after a social "event". But I have been faced with this question today: Am I actually an introvert or am I just being socially lazy and selfish?
After looking at that question, I can honestly answer that yes, I enjoy being alone. Being around people drains me. I do get energized, almost revived, by being alone. I spend a lot of time in my mind. When I am in groups for a long time, it makes it harder for me to think and focus on what I'm thinking which causes me to distress and therefore lose my energy. I get drained. That is why I need so much time to recharge, because I need to recollect all of my thoughts. I do think that I am an introvert or at the very least have a lot of introvert tendencies. But how much of my actions, which I typically would just explain away with the "introvert" card, is due to laziness and selfishness? I would dare to say a lot. It does take energy for me to meet with people, to interact with them and to engage. It does often sound better to just go home and be there with my dogs or husband and not be around people that I have to act "socially normal" around. I don't feel like going to church or to Bible study often times. I don't feel like agreeing to hang out with someone usually. But what do I see when I write what I just wrote? I see a lot of selfishness. I see a lot of laziness. I see a lot of habits that I have formed in the name of "introverted-ness". I see a lot of "ME". God has been showing me recently the importance of community. He created us all differently. Some love being around people, some don't. Some are extremely loud and outgoing, some take a while to stir up. Some people are easy to be around, some aren't. But, no matter our temperaments, our personality traits, or our tendencies, we are called to obey God. Something that God commands is love and community. From the beginning, God saw that it was "not good that man should be alone." (Genesis 2:18) So God made him a helper, another human! Not a dog, not a book, not a house in the woods, a human. God saw that that was good. In fact, God's whole plan is based on relationships: between Him and Jesus, between Jesus and us, and between us and our fellow brothers and sisters! Merriam-Webster defines relationship as: the way in which two or more people, groups, countries, etc., talk to, behave toward, and deal with each other.: the way in which two or more people or things are connected. We were made to interact, communicate, and love. God even set the standard of how our relationships with each other should be, "... since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:11). God's Word is full of examples of community and how God's will is fulfilled and glorified by it. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching." These verses say so much about selflessness, consideration, encouragement, accountability and endurance. We are called to join ourselves together, continually, even when we wish to forsake it, to encourage and build each other up in love. What happens when we obey God's commands (yes! I believe that those verses are commands)? God will bless us! For Galatians 6:9 says "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." We will reap our harvest, our reward when we do good, that is, obeying God's Word. God's design for His church is incredible. 1 Corinthians 12:25-27 says we, all believers, are members of Christ's body and that there should "be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together." We are all to be one body, but also individuals, not clones of each other. "For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another." (Romans 12:4-5). Not only is it part of His design, but He promises good from it! Matthew 18:20 says, "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 we read that "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." There is accountability, help, strength, and God's presence when we are among our brothers and sisters in Christ. I feel deeply convicted by the Holy Spirit. I was using "introversion" as an excuse to not be in community the way I should be as a Christian. I was letting Satan lie to me, saying that it was O.K. to be alone, to say "no" to people and to isolate myself. Of course he wants us to use introversion as an excuse! Of course he wants it to feel like a huge, draining burden to be among our brothers and sisters. He wants us to be far away from church, far away from accountability, love and encouragement. He wants us to be out of Christ's body. ! cannot let him win! ! cannot let myself slip into my most comfortable, lazy, and selfish life when I am called to be in community with the church. I even have my own duty in the church (See Romans 12:4-5 above). If I wasn't there, God would still provide a way without me, but by allowing God to make me the member He wants me to be in the church, I are allowing Him to use me and glorify Jesus to my maximum potential. What a blessing and beautiful design. I know that the Lord is faithful and that every time I go to Bible study and join in fellowship with my sisters in Christ, that I will be blessed for showing up. He blesses me every time. There is never an instance where I leave and wish I hadn't gone. God always has something for me there. He will bless me for my obedience. I must continue in fellowship and not lose sight of the "Day approaching". I must push on and keep watch, focusing on the Truth, not the lies of this world and it's ruler.
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About Me:Hello! I'm Roxy. Enjoy reading my thoughts as I strive to understand God's character and truth and admonish it faithfully to His church. Please email at [email protected] with inquiries. Archives
September 2018
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